Tuesday, September 6, 2011

R&R

We had a great weekend.  My in-laws came down to stay with the girls while Marshall and I took our belated wedding anniversary trip.  Our anniversary is in May, but I was very pregnant and very miserable (just ask him) so we decided to wait until after Alexa arrived to take a little getaway.

We were gone for two nights and stayed at Il Lugano, which is a fantastic little hotel on the intracoastal and only about 8 miles away.  I am so glad we ultimately decided to stay nearby.  The two days were just what we needed to reconnect.  We relaxed, had some delicious meals, got asked for ID when we went to the wine bar and had such a great time.  It was nice to get away and be us.  It is amazing that we still know who we are independent of being a parent.  Sometimes you lose yourself in that role and forget who you are.  I try to look parenthood as adding another layer to who I am  rather than replacing myself entirely with the updated "mom" version of me.  I mean afterall, being a parent does change you, but it doesn't change you completely.  Frankly, I don't want it to.  I like who my husband is and I assume he likes me most days.  That's probably why we got married in the first place.  Why should all of that disappear?

I know how hard it is with the girls, the house, our jobs to stay connected.  Marriage is hard by itself, let alone adding everything else into the mix.  Anyone who is married knows that.  I do not want to be the married couple who after the kids are gone realize that we don't know each other outside of the role of "parent" and during these years we have drifted so far apart that we no longer have anything in common.  Afterall, we are the foundation of this family. 

Sometimes it's easy to forget the root of it all especially after seeing how far you've come in 3 years.  I'm sure as the years go by it will get harder.  We will be more wrapped up in their lives.  School, extracurricular activities, Saturday night stake outs when they're on a date with a boy who you just know is trouble.  (Beause they all are, of course!)  All of these things will keep us occupied.  So it is especially important every now and then for Marshall and I as individuals to get together and remember why we decided to do all of this in the first place.

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