Tuesday, September 6, 2011


We had a great weekend.  My in-laws came down to stay with the girls while Marshall and I took our belated wedding anniversary trip.  Our anniversary is in May, but I was very pregnant and very miserable (just ask him) so we decided to wait until after Alexa arrived to take a little getaway.

We were gone for two nights and stayed at Il Lugano, which is a fantastic little hotel on the intracoastal and only about 8 miles away.  I am so glad we ultimately decided to stay nearby.  The two days were just what we needed to reconnect.  We relaxed, had some delicious meals, got asked for ID when we went to the wine bar and had such a great time.  It was nice to get away and be us.  It is amazing that we still know who we are independent of being a parent.  Sometimes you lose yourself in that role and forget who you are.  I try to look parenthood as adding another layer to who I am  rather than replacing myself entirely with the updated "mom" version of me.  I mean afterall, being a parent does change you, but it doesn't change you completely.  Frankly, I don't want it to.  I like who my husband is and I assume he likes me most days.  That's probably why we got married in the first place.  Why should all of that disappear?

I know how hard it is with the girls, the house, our jobs to stay connected.  Marriage is hard by itself, let alone adding everything else into the mix.  Anyone who is married knows that.  I do not want to be the married couple who after the kids are gone realize that we don't know each other outside of the role of "parent" and during these years we have drifted so far apart that we no longer have anything in common.  Afterall, we are the foundation of this family. 

Sometimes it's easy to forget the root of it all especially after seeing how far you've come in 3 years.  I'm sure as the years go by it will get harder.  We will be more wrapped up in their lives.  School, extracurricular activities, Saturday night stake outs when they're on a date with a boy who you just know is trouble.  (Beause they all are, of course!)  All of these things will keep us occupied.  So it is especially important every now and then for Marshall and I as individuals to get together and remember why we decided to do all of this in the first place.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Daniela and Aryana's visit

When I think back on my life so far, I have a feeling of joy.  I don't have really any complaints about my childhood, which is great when you all the craziness that came along with it.  Hell, if I came out of my youth unscathed hopefully my children will too.  :-)    College was a great time for the most part and I must admit, I am enjoying my thirties more than any other period of my life.

Thankfully, I've had a friend who has been there through most of it all.  Daniela and I met in junior high school when I would copy off of her science homework every day.  She was kind of shy and quiet and I've never met a stranger, so I am positive I talked her ear off.  I still do.  Let's face it somethings will never change.  Once highschool rolled around, we became inseperable.  We had the best times together.  We were yin and yang.  She was definitely someone that I looked up to. 

She went off to Memphis for college after highschool graduation.  At that point, it probably would have been easy for us to fall into our own lives and drift apart.  But it didn't happen.  When we did see each other, it was like we hadn't missed a beat.  It is still that way to this day.

We were in each other's weddings, we've seen our children grow, we call each other after a fight with our mothers.  Daniela is a wonderful mom of 3 children, so she is my trusted authority on all things baby.  She has answered her phone in the middle of the night when I'm driving around a screaming child and I'm crying myself because in that moment I don't think I'm cut out for motherhood.  Everyone should have a friend like this.

She and her daughter Aryana came for a visit last weekend.  Aryana is 20 days older than Ellie.  Eventhough we live in different states, it was so awesome to go through pregnancy with your best friend.  It was so cool that we both had daughters and that they are so close in age.  I get to see Daniela and her family roughly twice a year, sometimes more, but we have promised ourselves that we will get all of our girls together every year for a weekend in Florida.  This is a tradition that I am so excited to begin.

These little girls had a blast.  I don't know if they had more fun or if Daniela and I did.  They sat on Ellie's little princess couch, shared everything from toys to sippy cups, and chattered in toddler babble.  It was such a crazy thing to see, the two of us with our daughters.  These are the things we as girl's talked about growing up.  "When we get married..."  "When we have kids..."  Now we are those women.  It is almost beyond my comprehension.

I wish so much for my daughters: happy healthy lives, much success, friendship, love, wonderful families of their own one day.  But I also wish for them that they have a best friend like I do.  Someone who knew them during their formative years, someone to share a limo at their proms, someone to visit when they all go to college, to stand beside them at their weddings,  to share the joys and frustrations of marriage, parenting, and everything else, someone to call up and bitch about their own crazy mother...